Boys, Boys, Boys
by SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot
Summary: Ficlet based on the anon prompt: kurt introducing blaine to pillow bruce? (If you've read my other story like this, Discoveries, this is a much fluffier alternative to its hurt/comfort-y vibe.)


**It's my hundredth story, you guys!**

* * *

Kurt woke to the sound of muffled snickering and an empty bed.

"Blaine?" he asked, attempting to push himself vaguely upright for a moment before giving up and flopping onto his back. "Why you laughin'?"

"Because you're such a cuddle fiend, Kurt Hummel, much as you try to deny it," Blaine said, way too damn cheerful for a Saturday at – Kurt tilted toward the alarm clock – at _eight forty-five in the morning._

"Wh't the hell are you doin' awake right now?" Kurt said. "It's early. Come back to bed."

"I was going to make you some chocolate chip-butterscotch pancakes for our cheat day, but I got distracted by you rolling after my body heat like a lost little puppy," Blaine said, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Who's _really _the clingy one in this relationship, huh?"

"You wouldn't let go of me for half an hour yesterday after that homeless man on the corner scared you, B. It's still you," Kurt said. He managed to properly sit up at that, feeling energized after letting out some snark.

"I thought he had a knife!" Blaine defended vehemently.

"Uh huh. You keep telling yourself that, sweetheart." Kurt couldn't stop himself from giving Blaine his _I can see right through you _face.

"I'm going to make you eat Rachel's awful gluten-free vegan cereal if you don't stop making fun of me," Blaine warned. He pouted and got off the bed, avoiding Kurt's grabby hands like the seasoned pro he was.

"Fine, I'll cuddle with Bruce," Kurt said, matching Blaine's pout. "He doesn't back-sass me, either."

"Wait a minute, who the hell is Bruce?" Blaine said, whipping back around to give Kurt a questioning stare. "I thought that guy you quasi-sorta-almost-dated was named Adam?"

Kurt felt himself freeze at that. "Well, uh," he started, attempting to explain this in the least-creepy way possible. "Bruce isn't actually a person, per se."

"Oh, did you and Rachel get a chinchilla like you were talking about?" Blaine asked. "Those _would _be great to snuggle with, nice choice, babe."

"Bruce is also not a chinchilla. Seriously, Blaine? You would've seen us setting up a chinchilla habitat by now," Kurt said, raising an eyebrow judgmentally. "Bruce is a pillow."

"...What?" Blaine said, and _damn, _were his eyebrows always that pointy when he was confused?

"Have you ever seen those infomercials for boyfriend pillows? Wait, no, of course not, you go to bed at like ten thirty so you can wake up at this disgusting time on a regular basis," Kurt said. "Hang on." He reluctantly scraped himself out of their bed and knelt to reach for the familiar case beneath it, blowing off a slight layer of dust before opening the latches. "This is Bruce."

"That's only slightly weird," Blaine said. "Thanks for showing me this so I didn't accidentally stumble across what looks like a dismembered corpse one day."

"Shhh, Bruce, he didn't mean that," Kurt teased. "You're the most handsome torso there is."

"Hey!" Blaine snatched Bruce out of his case and hooked him around his own neck. "I'm confiscating this until further – wow, this _is _super comfy. Scratch that, I'm confiscating this forever."

"Bruce and I are _exclusive_, Blaine, give it back!" Kurt ran around the end of the bed to grab Bruce back, but Blaine wrapped his arms around Bruce's torso and wouldn't let go. Kurt chased him out into the living room of the loft before an idea struck him. "I'll make you a deal," he panted, winded.

"Name your terms," Blaine said, collapsing onto the couch and burrowing into Bruce's side.

"If you make me pancakes every cheat day, I'll let you snuggle with Bruce whenever you want."

"Deal." Blaine got up and pecked Kurt on the lips in lieu of a handshake before draping Bruce across Kurt's shoulders to go get breakfast started.

"You're the best, B," Kurt said, taking Blaine's still-warm seat on the couch.

"You say as you snuggle with Bruce. How many harem boys do you need, Kurt? Should I feed you peeled grapes while fanning you with a palm frond next?"

"Well, I wouldn't say _no,_" Kurt joked. "But honestly, you're the only boy I need, Blaine." He walked over to the stove and wrapped his arms around Blaine from behind, kissing quickly behind Blaine's ear. "Especially if you keep spoiling me with food."

"My mama taught me the way to a man's heart," Blaine said, tilting his head back to smile softly at Kurt.

"Sexual availability?"

"That, too. But that comes _after _pancakes."


End file.
